Advice that saved my relationship
I have a few different theories on why relationships don’t work out. I can’t say I’m an expert in the field, considering I was a late bloomer in the dating field. Nonetheless, I’m good at observing people, and how they interact, and through that, along with what little experience I have, I’ve come up with some interesting conclusions. So read through them, and let me know what your thoughts are.
Pigeon Holing
So your significant other was a great looking, boisterous, bubbly character when you first met. Now they behave like something out of where the wild things are. You can’t expect a person to remain like they first were when you met. Realize that as life brings new experiences, the person you’re with will adjust. Anyhow, who you were yesterday, isn’t the same as who you are today right? You’re core values are probably the same, but an interaction with someone, a new purchase, or a successful work day will add to that great personality of yours. The perfect solution to this is: One, to never say, “But…but…you’ve changed”. Instead, talk to the person. Find out how their goals, likes, dislikes have evolved since your first meeting. Find out what you can do to support this blossoming significant other of yours. And more importantly, grow with that person. Let go of who they were, and learn to love them for who they are.
Post Relationship Depression
I’ve come to the conclusion that most couples lie about how great and exciting their relationship is. I wish someone would just come out and say that shit gets boring after a while. Sure, there’s the honeymoon period, when the sparks are flying, the cash register is dinging, and everyday’s a party. But that quickly fades as you realize your spending habits differ, a mortgage is due, and you have two sets of parents to deal with. Oh geez, doesn’t sound like fun? Well, at times it might not be. But you’re not alone. Most couples deal with the same issues, they just don’t talk about it. It happens. Realize that every night won’t be a date night, there will be some days when your significant other looks better than on other days. Some day’s they’ll have the intellect of Einstein, and other day’s the brain power of Gumbee. There will be days when you feel proud standing next to them, and days when you wish you could step away from them. No matter what you feel, remember, who they are deep down inside is the same. A relationship will have good days and bad days, just like friendships, a day at the office, or even a night out on the town. For some reason, we’re much harder on those that we’re close to, and to those who we know will be around us for a lifetime. I’m sure you already know how to react to the good days. As for the not so glamorous days, think about what caused the day to go sour. Boredom? Frustration? What could you have done to handle the situation better? The mere act of thinking about what caused things to go wrong will help you grow, and react in a more satisfying manner down the road. Also, remember that your world is how you see it. You can perceive your relationship to be boring, or as great. It’s up to you to create the right environment for success.
“Let’s Take a break?”
This is one idea that’s never sat well with me. My thoughts are , if you can’t solve the problem while you’re together, I highly doubt a resolution will come when you’re apart. And the thing about this is, while you’re in a relationship you can walk away from each other, take a few days off, and go home at the end of the night. But this isn’t possible when you’re married. I suggest learning to handle difficult problems while there is room to think about things. Communicate! Communicate!Communicate! (6 effective ways to communicate in a relationship) And if all you guys out there think it’s difficult to communicate before marriage, it’ll only get more difficult post marriage. So with patience, lots of listening, less talking over each other, and a lot of love, learn to resolve your problems in an effective manner because there won’t be any breaks after marriage.
Reena 
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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“Spark” and chemistry are nothing more than made up words to describe that supposed mysterious thing that brings a man and woman together. Women dream of it and men hope to have it. IMO there is no such thing. Attraction is simply what brings a man and woman together, nothing more. Attraction is fleeting. Fleeting in the sense that it can be there one second and be gone the next. Perception of “chemistry” and “spark” can be there on the first date and be gone the next when your date says or does something unattractive. Attraction can be created. Its all psychology. Any woman or man can have so called “chemistry” if the right subconscious buttons are pushed.
What is it about the beginning of a relationship that makes the people involved feel like they are the only two people in the room and that they want to spend every waking hour together? Its the mystery and challenge of the other person. If there is no challenge, you most likely won’t get to a relationship. Once the mystery is gone, the relationship gets boring. The person is like a puzzle that keeps unraveling each day. You’re excited to see what comes next.
My advice for couples who want to have a successful relationship is this. Whether its been 3 months or 3 years, keep the mystery alive. Treat each day like a new one. Be interesting. Do interesting things. Stay out of your comfort zone. Take care of your body and mind. Have a life outside of each other. Be attractive.
Men: Don’t be indecisive or indifferent. She wants to be lead by you, not followed by you.
Grow Nuts. If you don’t like something, have the balls to tell your girlfriend/wife you don’t like it and won’t put up with it.
Women: Buy your man this book: The Way of the Superior Man. Its not a chauvinist book as the title sounds, but rather one that opens up their mind to the polarity that must exist between couples for them to have a successful long term relationship.
this is so true
In a relationship, a person should always keep a little Of himself back. This mystery element keeps it(relation) fresh and challenging.
Thanks for the comment Ash.